The girls at work have convinced me to give up my bed, my roof and my fridge full of nice things and sleep out on the street in a few weeks to raise money and awareness for homeless people.
I saw Dicko and friends do this on Celebrity Apprentice and at the time I thought it seemed such a great idea. But when the girls suggested it I was dead against it.
“If I fall asleep on the lounge my back gives me grief for days,” I told them in my whiny voice, which I usually reserve for wringing sexual favours out of my wife. “There probably won’t even be wi-fi for my laptop.”
In fact, I wasn’t doing it at all until today when a lady from TAJ Marketstall arrived at our branch to sell onesies to the girls for tomorrow’s Banking On Our Kids fundraising and also, they told me, to wear to the sleep out. Why do they leave out all the important information? No one said anything about a dress up.
“I’m in,” I told them, pulling out a bee onesie and falling instantly in love with it.
My wife wasn’t so convinced.
“That is just about the most contraceptive thing I’ve ever seen you wear,” she said to me when I put it on to show the kids tonight. And that’s something, considering some of the beanies and hats I’ve owned.
Rather than just be miserable by myself, I’ve decided to take one of the kids with me for the night for company. Well, I’d look silly with a teddy. Besides, I figure it’ll be a great chance to spend some one on one time and also to teach them about this social issue which most of us don’t understand, or even notice.
My first thought was I’d take Miss6 with me.
“Outside?” she asked me, pointing out the window, when I explained the idea. She was giving me the biggest ‘WTF’ look I’ve ever seen her beautiful little face produce.
“Not in a house?”
“Then I don’t want to do it. No. U-huh. No way.”
End of story. Walked away.
“Pick meeee!!!” came shouts from the dinning table. Master8 and Miss9 both had their hands up like they were in school and finally knew the answer to a science question.
“Pick me!” said a little voice at my knees. Miss3 had wandered in. She didn’t know what the hell I was picking someone for but she’d be damned if she was going to be left out.
After enduring half an hour of campaigning any politician would be proud of, I finally said I’d see if it was possible for both Master8 and Miss9 to come with me. It is. I just have to see if it’s possible I want to take them both, considering I’m only taking the one single mattress (yes, I’m taking a mattress, the biggest thickest we have in the house).
Then, at bedtime, it looked like I might be taking all three. It seemed Miss6 had decided she wanted to be involved after all. Only with one small change to the plans.
“We’ll sleep out in the lounge room,” she told me, “and draw pictures of stars and stick them on the roof.”
Two things look set to happen now. Firstly, I’ll be doing two ‘sleep outs’ come the weekend of the 2nd of August, and secondly, my back hasn’t got a hope.
When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page.
’raising a family on little more than laughs’